Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday!
I always try to encourage fat people.
So keep your chins up.
Little boy: My mom beats me.
Pedagogue: Yes, well, what do you think of moving to your dad?
Little boy: He beats me too?
Pedagogue: How about going to the MetLife Stadium? They never beat anyone.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him:
"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Q. What's a horse's favorite sport?
A. Stable tennis.
The lovely love Theorem - To Love some 1 is madness,2b loved by someone is a Gift,
loving some1 who loves u is a duty,but being loved by some1 whom u luv is LIFE
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
I'm not a yes man to my wife - when she says no, I say no.It's not so much who wears the pants, but how much money is in the pockets.
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
How do you get 100 jews into a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them out again?
Tell them Hilter is driving.
Happy valentines day 2017 images
100+ Romantic Valentine’s Day Love Messages