"Quick, take the wheel", said the nervous driver.
"Because there is a tree coming straight for us!"
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Robin the piggy bank again.
Sexual Exhaustion A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
April 1, 1988: The Soviet newspaper Izvestia reported that the world-renowned Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona was in negotiations to join Spartak Moscow, who were to pay him $6 million to play on their struggling team. The Associated Press quickly picked up this surprising story and distributed it to their subscribers, but had to publish a retraction after querying Izvestia for more details and receiving the response that they should be mindful of the date (April 1st). The AP had believed the story because Soviet papers had never before published an April Fool's Day hoax. It was simply unheard of for the dour, state-run publications to crack a joke. The sudden display of humor was credited to Mikhail Gorbachev's policy of glasnost, or openness, instituted the previous year.
I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.
I don?t know how anyone could stoop so low.
Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them.
How did the Easter Bunny dry himself after he got caught in the rain?
With a hare-dryer!
I suffer from schizophrenia that results in delusions that I'm either Adolf Hitler or Winston Churchill.
I suppose I'm my own worst enemy.
How was your dinner in the outdoor restaurant?
Bad, it started to rain, and it took me an hour to finish the broth!
Grab a plant mister (or a chemical-free spray bottle) and casually stroll behind your mark. Make a sneezing noise and spray the back of their neck at the same time. Classic! Cut out the "middle man" and just sneeze on your friend for an even grosser prank!
Happy valentines day 2017 images
100+ Romantic Valentine’s Day Love Messages